The Kids Are Alright

And then there was Thom. We hit it off straight away. He seemed to be looking for...well...me. He wanted a woman who had a steady job, had her "life together", etc. etc. independent, strong, the usual. I guess there's not many guys out there looking for a train wreck of a woman, though, eh?

Anyhow, we seemed to have enough in common and he looked quite attractive from his photos. He had interesting tattoos and seemed like the kind of guy you could rely on. He was active in some organizations, had his own successful business, and a nice car.

I was pretty enthusiastic about this guy, he seemed like a great catch.

We met up near my gym and I followed him to Denny's. It was late so there wasn't much more than that open.

Right away the striking resemblance to my socially inept, mildly autistic cousin was more creep factor than I could handle.  He was tall. The kind of tall that is "too tall" and learns to hunch over awkwardly. From the front he looked mostly like his photos and was attractive enough, but from the side. Oh jeeze...from the side....where to start. To make another horse analogy - when a horse has a neck that runs right into their chest we call it a "nest". This guy had a nest to end all nests. No real chin, straight down whatever neck he had and into chest. So bizarre and strange looking.

From there it got weirder because he was incredibly self confident. He even said "I have above average self confidence." Well gee....ya think?

The clincher was how throughout the night he mentioned in many different ways wanting kids.
"I'd like to have a fun car for me and also a family car."
"I really just want to settle down and start a family."
"I love kids, I think I'd want at least three. I don't care if they're boys or girls as long as there's lots of them."

Of course I nodded and smiled and engaged the conversation politely, the whole time thinking, "Great, this is my out!"

It clearly states on my profile "does not have kids, does not want kids"...Perhaps I neglected to check his or perhaps it didn't say, but I thought that this would be my polite explanation for why I didn't want to see him again.

Since I very well couldn't say "because I avoided looking directly at you all night so therefore any intimacy or physical interaction would be basically impossible."

The good thing was that I did get a maple-bacon milkshake out of the deal. Yes that's a thing that happened. At Denny's. What are you waiting for....go get one...seriously, I'll wait.



So the next day the text interaction went something like this:

Me: Hey, I had a really nice time last night, thank you again. I just wanted to be honest with you though, that you mentioned quite a few times that you wanted to have kids and start a family, etc. And I really don't want kids any time soon, if ever. But thank you for taking me out. You're a great guy and I wish you the best of luck.

Him: Well I don't know for sure I want kids.

Me: You mentioned it at least three times.

Him: So you're not even going to give this a chance?

Me: Can I have some time to think about it?

8 hours later. Almost on the dot:

Him: Well, it's been 8 hours and I haven't heard from you. I guess this is goodbye.


Bullet. Dodged.